” What changes since then. Two of the five found graves in the Crimea, the third is dead also; Henry and I alone alive. He with a big family, with sons nearly as old as he was at the time of the frigging matches. I wonder if he ever thinks of them, wonder if he ever has told his wife.I spent much time now in this leg inspection and frigging myself, till I could scarcely get semen out of me. I hated myself for it, yet went on doing it, when luckily I lost the exciting sights. Some women happened to look down and saw us. A man without a hat came several times and looked down the gratings. Henry’s father came to the manufactory, as he often did, went into the stores, asked who had opened the area-door, locked it up, had a new lock put on, and forbad anyone to go into the stores excepting to get out the guns, and so we lost our game. We never asked a question, nor made a remark on the matter; and came to the conclusion, that some one had complained to the linendraper that persons were. He asked me whether I wanted to eat some more. How nice of him! I said no and sat down.Dad asked, "Are you not happy to come to the beach, Cathy?" I am happy to come here, Dad. Why do you say that?" I asked smiling at him."Then why are you not wearing the swimsuit I bought for you? Look, everybody here is wearing some swimwear."I looked around and saw that I was the only one wearing a blouse and skirt! For a moment I thought Dad wanted to see me in my bikini so that he can look at my near naked body. But then what choice did I have? I couldn't possibly remain in my blouse and skirt on the beach. So, slowly I removed my blouse and skirt and stood in my white bikini.Dad looked at me lovingly and said, "You are beautiful, Cathy! Come, sit down and eat some cake." He was being fatherly. So, I accepted his invitation and sat next to him. He gave me a piece of cake and as I ate, his eyes kept sweeping appreciatively all over my body that was quite exposed by my small bikini.He got close.
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